Very Moody Voices

whitefacebluewoman

I have a new voice in my head.   This one arrived when I was putting clothes in a drawer during the day, rather frantically trying to clean up for the arrival of a guest.  He said in a menacing, gravely voice, “kill him.”

Yes, this was a shock to me.  I don’t hear voices during the day time. I responded, “Oh, you’re annoyed that you have to do this work for a visitor when you could just be relaxing.  Life is stressful enough.”  He told me yes, and went away.  I knew there was more to it, but he was satisfied and stayed fairly quiet throughout a busy weekend.

A few hours after the man spoke, a young girl’s voice came into my head, she said definitively, but quietly, “hurt you.”  I didn’t respond to her other than to say “NO.”  She has talked since, repeating the same thing, but I haven’t had a talk with her yet. She wants to make my voice small, to give up my happiness so he can have his. I’m already doing that, to quite a great extent, so I’m not sure what her deal is. But she is also telling me someone hurt me, someone in the past, so I know where this is coming from.  I just don’t want to go there now.

For now, it seems they are trying to find a balance; my brain is going to make me deal with things I just refuse to look at.  I am very good at avoidance, or I was until now.

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s